Sep 4
I cannot decide the length of life,
But I can decide the depth of it.
I cannot command the weather,
But I can handle my heart.
I cannot change my face,
But I can show my smile.
I cannot control others,
But I can dominate myself.
I cannot predict tomorrow,
But I can live today.
I cannot always be number one,
But I can do my best!
Jul 24
“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” –Mother Teresa
Mar 5
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
Dec 20
Cute babies for fun 
May 22
Uncle Rakesh fell into a swimming pool last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated; he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Bablu was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back, they drowned because they couldn’t get the tailgate down. I am now closing this letter and will share more good news with you again next time.
-Your Favorite Aunt
(http://vaanc-funtime.blogspot.com/2010/08/auntys-letter.html)
May 22
A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made, and that everything was picked up and tidy.
Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the
letter, with trembling hands.
I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings’,
tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much
older than I am.
But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t, really
hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with
the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so
Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know
your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, Joshua.
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in
life than the School report that’s on the kitchen table.
Mar 21
A Kind Dad
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.
***************************************************************************************
New Born
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
“Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?”
Slim says, “I feel just like a newborn baby.”
“Really !? Like a newborn baby !?”
“Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.”
*************************************************************************************
Weight Loss
A wife saw her husband weight himself on the scale trying to pull in the stomach. The weight thought he is trying to reduce his weight on the scale. So she said.
“You know. I don’t think that will help you anything”
The husband replies “Of course it helps. It is the only way I can see the number on the scale”
Aug 12
With regard to excellence, it is not enough to know, but we must try to have and use it.
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC), Nichomachean Ethics
