高中部英文科教學資料庫 » Quotes, Slangs, Jokes

Source of Insights

hs_english — Wed, 04 Sep 2013 07:50:34 +0000

I cannot decide the length of life,

But I can decide the depth of it.

I cannot command the weather,

But I can handle my heart.

I cannot change my face,

But I can show my smile.

I cannot control others,

But I can dominate myself.

I cannot predict tomorrow,

But I can live today.

I cannot always be number one,

But I can do my best!

Mother Teresa

hs_english — Wed, 24 Jul 2013 07:33:16 +0000

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” –Mother Teresa

Quotation on Action

hs_english — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 07:23:34 +0000

Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

Quotation on Action

hs_english — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 07:19:09 +0000

Happiness lies not in the mere possession of money. It lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.

Franklin D. Roosevelt (1882 - 1945), Speeches… in the Trial of Warren Hastings, May 5, 1789

Aunty’s Letter

hs_english — Tue, 22 May 2012 06:51:24 +0000

Dear Sanju baba,I’m writting this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your Pa read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 minutes of your home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the House numbers when they moved so they wouldn’t have to change their address.

This place is really nice. I even has a washing machine. I’m not sure it works so well, though, Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain, we haven’t seen it since.

The weather isn’t bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Bablu locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven’t found out what it is yet so I don’t know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.

Uncle Rakesh fell into a swimming pool last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated; he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Bablu was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back, they drowned because they couldn’t get the tailgate down. I am now closing this letter and will share more good news with you again next time.

-Your Favorite Aunt

P.S…If this letter does not reach you, please let me know, I will send u another.

(http://vaanc-funtime.blogspot.com/2010/08/auntys-letter.html)

Dear Dad

hs_english — Tue, 22 May 2012 06:41:52 +0000

A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made, and that everything was picked up and tidy.
Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,

‘Dad.’

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the
letter, with trembling hands.

_______________________________________________________________________

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing to you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with
Mum and you.

I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings’,
tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much
older than I am.

But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t, really
hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with
the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so
Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know
your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in
life than the School report that’s on the kitchen table.

Famous Quotes

hs_english — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 06:22:55 +0000

Jokes for fun!

hs_english — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 05:56:06 +0000

A Kind Dad
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.

***************************************************************************************
New Born
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
“Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?”
Slim says, “I feel just like a newborn baby.”
“Really !? Like a newborn baby !?”
“Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.”

*************************************************************************************
Weight Loss
A wife saw her husband weight himself on the scale trying to pull in the stomach. The weight thought he is trying to reduce his weight on the scale. So she said.
“You know. I don’t think that will help you anything”
The husband replies “Of course it helps. It is the only way I can see the number on the scale”

Quotation on Excellence

hs_english — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 07:28:23 +0000

With regard to excellence, it is not enough to know, but we must try to have and use it.

Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC), Nichomachean Ethics

高中部英文科教學資料庫 » Quotes, Slangs, Jokes

Source of Insights

Mother Teresa

Quotation on Action

Quotation on Action

Top 10 Funny Baby Videos — just for fun

Aunty’s Letter

Dear Dad

Famous Quotes

Jokes for fun!

Quotation on Excellence