A Kind Dad
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.
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New Born
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
“Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?”
Slim says, “I feel just like a newborn baby.”
“Really !? Like a newborn baby !?”
“Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.”
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Weight Loss
A wife saw her husband weight himself on the scale trying to pull in the stomach. The weight thought he is trying to reduce his weight on the scale. So she said.
“You know. I don’t think that will help you anything”
The husband replies “Of course it helps. It is the only way I can see the number on the scale”